School lunches can be extremely traumatizing. Just ask my therapist. God bless my parents, but when it came to packing a school lunch, they might as well have been packing a suicide bomb that I had to carry with me all day. It was whole-wheat bread this, leaky, smelly thermoses (thermoses!) of milk that, a bruised plum here, and one measly Chips Ahoy cookie crushed into a soggy sand there. All the cool kids at least got tobuy their milk, and most had some sort of Gusher or Fruit by the Foot "side-dish" that made me drool with jealousy. When it came to trades, I was black-listed. No one would deal with me.
Some celebrities tell similar tales of lunch room rejection, and some even have school lunch stories that would make Anthony Bourdain proud. People magazine asked about 10 stars, "What's the best school lunch you ever had?" and celebs like Brooke Shields, Gail Simmons, and Jersey girl Deena Cortese shared their lunchable tales.
Here's what they had to say:
Drew Lachey (Nick's brother) -- "Those little square pizzas."
Deena Cortese (from Jersey Shore) -- "I was really stoked on Fridays. I'd be like, Yes! It's pizza day!"
Michael Vartan (from Alias) -- "My mom was, and still is, a bit of a macro-biotic health freak."
Brooke Shields -- "I liked when they had anything Asian in the lunch room. Like when they would do chicken lo mein or whatever that was."
Gail Simmons (from Top Chef) -- "My mom would make things like zucchini salad. I would come to school and everyone would make fun of me and all I wanted was my friend Reesa's sandwich."
Jerry Ferrara (Turtle from Entourage) -- "My mom used to make killer lunches. I would take my lunch box out and open that thing and open that sandwich and jaws dropped, and kids looked, and always tried to trade up with me. And I'm like, No, I'm not trading ... I don't want the Snack Pack."
Susie Essman (from Curb Your Enthusiasm) -- "Every day [my mom] would make me bologna sandwiches. Every. Day. Every single day on Wonder bread and mustard until I was going to shoot myself in the head from bologna sandwiches."
I totally feel Drew and Deena -- pizza Fridays were incredible -- and I really want a sandwich made by Mrs. Ferrara right now. Kinda makes sense that foodie Gail Simmons was served some fancy stuff, and who knew that Brooke Shields was so adventurous with the slimy cafeteria lo mein?
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